


Con Te Partiro

by islasands



Series: Lambski [34]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: M/M, Sea, Stars, air
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-24
Updated: 2012-02-24
Packaged: 2017-10-31 16:26:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/346127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/islasands/pseuds/islasands
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One interpretation of Con Te Partiro is that it is about finding your true love. When you find that person you are happy to say goodbye to the world you knew before meeting him. A new world lies before you, one that you and your true love will explore together.</p><p>And so it is a goodbye to all you have known - and the security of knowing it, and a greeting to the great unknown of love.</p><p>You may like to listen as you read...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Con Te Partiro

"Con Te Partiro"

  


Andrea Bocelli

  


“Aren’t you happy? I thought you were happy.” His friend filled his glass and pushed it across the table to him. They were sitting outside at the friend’s house. The other guests had gone. The outdoor lamps, together with the lights of the city, denied the night sky any say in their conversation. Yet only a week ago it had told him so many truths about time and distance and size that Adam, lying on the beach with Sauli in his arms, had felt nothing else really needed to be said. Ever.

_They were staying at a friend’s beach house, nestled in forest above a secluded cove. Below the house there was a patch of lawn surrounded by trees and through those trees a pathway led steeply down to the shore. The guest room, white walled and sparsely furnished, looked out over the sea. When they first arrived Adam had stood at the window looking out at the horizon, noting the different blues of water and air which it divided, the former, an austere, lustreless membrane of sheer colour, the latter alive with the expressive, glistening blue of a human gaze. Like Sauli’s eyes. Like Sauli’s eyes when they darkened with strong feelings..._

_They only had a few days to spare, and they used them to do nothing. They seldom talked. They hardly ate. They showed restraint in the articles of their intimacy, preferring the lightest of touches to the turmoil of lust. They turned their gazes outward, sitting or lying side by side, allowing the spaciousness of the earth’s coverings – the gentle air and luminous sea – to lighten their burden of sentience, the nexus of consciousness that buries men in thoughts and feelings. As they walked along the shore, bare-footed, hand in hand, they basked in the freedom of having nothing to say._

_When I'm alone  
_ _I dream on the horizon  
_ _and words fail;_

 _Yes, I know there is no light  
_ _in a room where the sun is absent,  
_ _if you are not with me._

“I _am_ happy,” Adam said. He held up the glass and examined its contents. His friend reached out and took hold of his wrist. “That’s the problem, isn’t it. You’re happy.” She released his hand. “Where is he?” __

“At home.” Adam put the glass on the table. He batted at a moth made frantic by the magnetism of the candle light. They both watched as it landed on the table, paused to gather its wits, then flew above the candle where it began spiralling helplessly, as though on an eddy of light, whirling downward until it met the flame and fell into the candle’s crater of molten wax.

His friend raised her eyebrows at Adam. He met her gaze levelly, and sighed. “Story of my life,” he said. He drank from his glass. “I’ve never loved anyone. Part of me doesn’t like it.”

_Sauli’s head was heavy in his lap. The sea was quietly kissing all of its stones. The sun, always magnanimous in its ministrations, shone on things that will grow and things that will not. An onshore breeze softened the severe mercy of its intensity and cooled their skin. Adam’s hands, of their own accord, winnowed the sand through his fingers. He watched it running quickly from his grasp. He took a handful and poured it on Sauli’s shoulder but he didn’t move. His breathing indicated he had in fact fallen asleep. Adam looked up. A couple, accompanied by a dog, walked past. Adam watched them until they disappeared into the haze of sea air. Everything contains the destiny of disappearing, he thought. A gull, alone in the sky, flew into the distance as though to illustrate his thought._

Adam leaned back in his chair. “You know, I once thought I had lost the love of my life, and it was true. It was _my_ life being loved that mattered most to me. The loss of that.” Adam pursed his lips. His friend waited. She already knew there was no comfort she could bring, not for this, not for what he was about to say.

“It’s not like that with him.” There, he had said it.

“No?”

“No.”

_That night they went down to the beach to view the Milky Way. It drifted above them, a soft brume of stars too far away in light years to own the points of their existence. It was a perfect match for their feelings which similarly needed no justification or proofs. The moon, as though by a maternal act, bathed them in a silver that cannot be mined. They kissed and gazed into one another’s night blackened eyes without any sense of wonder. Whatever love’s mystery they owned no wish to unravel it, any more than they wished to decipher the hieroglyphs of the stars. The sky and the sea and their two hearts quivered with the randomness of life._

‘No,” he repeated. He stared at his friend. “With him, I love _his_ life. Maybe more than mine. And part of me doesn’t like that.”

His friend searched for words. “Because of the possibility...” Her voice trailed off into the candlelight.

Adam shook his head. “Not that. Not at all.” He looked up at the hidden stars.

“I am afraid of heights,” he said, finally figuring it out.

His friend, drawing from her own well of experience, nodded. "It's an endless falling," she said.

Adam smiled, more to himself than to her, for in his thought he was already flying homeward.

 _When you are far away  
_ _I dream on the horizon  
_ _and words fail.._

 _And yes, I know  
_ _that you are with me.  
_ _You, my moon, are here with me  
_ _My sun, you are here with me_

 _I’ll go with you  
_ _I’ll go with you_

**Author's Note:**

> Con Te Partiro "With you I will leave") is an Italian Classical crossover song written by Francesco Sartori (music) and Lucio Quarantotto (lyrics).


End file.
